Ask Erica Vol. 1 – Boys and Bicycles
In last week’s post, I offered some advice on love, life and careers. So far, this week the questions ranged from “kind of vague” to “totally insane.”
explain boys to me, please. In blog post form. That way, every time I am going crazy over a boy, I can come to your blog and calm down. Thanks.
I so wish there was an easier answer to this. Unfortunately, I don’t think I can explain boys anymore than I explain girls. To try to do so seems a little sexist, but I can try to calm down your occasional freak-outs regarding boys in general. You see, boys are a little different than girls. And keep in mind, this is all completely generalizing – but I think boys are better at compartmentalizing. Where we question motivation and intent, and generally seem to plan out our interactions and how it will be perceived, boys kind of just – do their thing. And then forget about it, or move it into another little mental compartment. Not calling you may not mean anything deeper than something else came up. Irritating, frustrating and inconsiderate? Maybe. Malicious or intentionally infuriating? Probably not. I also have a feeling that if you are anything like me, your sense of urgency is more highly tuned than the boy in question (I partially blame the internet for this – a subject for another post).
I also think that because boys have a different sense of priorities, and make liberal use of compartmentalization, that in general, they may have less invested energy into a budding relationship and if something better or more interesting comes along – the decision made. No need to nurture, or contemplate seeing it through.
My friend Kurt, who I met in the wilds of Denmark and is now a graduate student asks:
Should I get a pennyfarthing or unicycle? I need to commute to school in the most absurd and awesome way possible, and I refuse to wear a helmet.
Kurt, stop being a pretentious weirdo. Get a bike like the rest of us mere mortals. And wear a helmet! How can a boy who wants so much attention that he would be willing to do ridiculous things in the name of individuality be afraid to look stupid in a helmet? If you want to be noticed, get an awesome helmet – maybe something with LED messaging? (Also – pennyfarthing, all the way.)
To get some advice of your own, submit a question in the comments or email me at email@example.com. If you prefer to remain anonymous, just let me know.