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Crisis Averted

April 23, 2009

Since starting my illustrious blogging career, I have joined a lot of networking sites, the majority of which appear to be aimed at twentysomething/Generation Y professionals. And the communities quickly started driving me insane. I made a few wonderful friends, but the advice and the self-assuredness of the participants were driving me batty. I started to wonder if I was doing this whole life and career thing wrong, and started participating in conversations that made no sense to me. The advice and posts seemed to be pure link-baiting (aka intentionally controversial, under the guise of “irreverant”), and everyone comments on each other’s blogs, almost seemingly without variation. There is weird in-fighting and sniping remarks. (Okay, its like any other community).

But then I started wondering about my own life, and if this advice fits. And then I realized I was engaging in discussions about whether it’s okay to move back home, or if getting married young makes you inflexible. And I began to let other people’s fears and confusion seep into my psyche. I forgot that while I certainly don’t have it all figured out, I’m already established and secure and on a path.

And then I realized – this isn’t my world. I live in a world where I wonder about which retirement fund to contribute towards, and think about how I can take better care of my aging grandparents.

I don’t wonder about job-hopping, because I have been fortunate enough to find a job where I not only gain all sorts of varied, wonderful experience, but I love working where I do. People job-hop to find the job that I have.

I don’t need advice and articles about navigating early adult hood. In fact, I am qualified to offer advice about getting through that first part – I am on the other side.

I am sure my internet community is out there. I think that I am at a weird age and live in a weird part of the country (NYC). At 27, I think a lot of people my age are married, or are mommy-bloggers or something of that kind. And in New York, at least among my friends – that just isn’t the case. So, I love the idea of websites for young professionals, but I need something on a more “already figured that junk out” level. And “twentysomething” is too broad. Someone 1 or 2 years out of college needs different advice and feedback than someone who is more established.

I just changed my description on the “About” page from “mid-twenties’ to “late-twenties.” I never really had a quarterlife crisis (just a long series of difficult decisions and choices), but instead of trying to create one, I am just going to feel fortunate and forge on. Apparently, this means I am older than I thought, and I really couldn’t be happier.

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13 Comments leave one →
  1. April 23, 2009 2:12 pm

    I think all of us, at one point, find ourselves in communities where the barrier to entry was low, so we were welcomed with open arms. However, it doesn’t always mean that community was right in the first place.

    Of course your internet community is out there! I believe it’s one of those things that comes organically – but, ya know, I believe that about most things. =)

  2. April 23, 2009 2:14 pm

    I love this post.

    I wonder if there’s a “late 20s” niche or if at that point you just graduate into the much larger “not early/mid 20s anymore” group. Which maybe consists of late 20s, 30s, and most of the 40s. I don’t really know. But at 35, I find myself most drawn to stuff that isn’t age-specific but also doesn’t sound like it’s written by someone who thinks all discussions of professional issues must be stiff and formal. (Which is something I sometimes notice among career bloggers further along in their careers. Not always, just sometimes.) I want content that would be relevant to anyone, say, 25 and up, but written in a voice that sounds like a friend, not a corporation.

    If that makes any sense.

  3. April 23, 2009 2:34 pm

    Everyone wants to put everyone in a certain age demographic into a particular box, whether it’s the Gen-Y stereotypes or any other. Fact is, while there are some base-level similarities, we’re more different from each other than we get credit for. There’s a distinct chance that you and I don’t have much in common, and the same goes for our parents, respectively. The only time those labels and stereotypes become real is when you embrace them as though they’re fact.

  4. April 23, 2009 2:35 pm

    Sounds like you had a positive after-college experience–glad to hear it:)

  5. April 23, 2009 4:19 pm

    Anytime I engage someone in their early 20’s in conversation I tend to check out of it early on since I have a hard time relating to their concerns. I end up telling them what happened to me when I was their age and then I sound like I’m giving advice or preaching to them which is not what I intended.
    I am one of those people who was married at 26 and had a baby at 28 though. I’m happy to have my life but the communities that I enjoy don’t necessarily have that life and the ones that do aren’t always interesting.
    You must be bored by my blogs though since I talk about my kid a lot. Sorry.

    • April 23, 2009 4:23 pm

      I am not bored of your blog at all. I read way more mommy blogs than I care to admit. And wedding/marriage things too (because I am INSANE). Those things are good and have their place. I am just lamenting a community for the absence of those things, or in place of/instead of it.

      • April 23, 2009 4:30 pm

        I wonder why there isn’t the type of community you are seeking. My cousin and I had a discussion one day on the difference between a 21 year old and a 27 year old. People assume that both will be on the same level but there is a huge difference. It’s the same difference as a 13 year old and 19 year old. No one would expect them to hang out and be interested in the same things the same way.
        I have no idea if I am making sense.

  6. April 23, 2009 8:54 pm

    “I need something on a more “already figured that junk out” level”

    I love this line! I, too, have experienced a lack of post-college angst. That’s not to say my life’s perfect, but I’m more than satisfied with the aspects of it that I can control.

    I’m glad to see there are others seeking a less Eeyore approach to life. You create the network – I’ll join it 🙂

  7. legaldunki permalink
    April 23, 2009 11:06 pm

    I can completely understand your point of view. I too am on the downside of my twenties and in a very weird place in my life, but yet I find it hard to relate to a lot of the blogs and bloggers that I have found. I do find myself questioning them at times. I will however, be coming back to your blog a lot!

  8. April 24, 2009 10:00 am

    Twenty something is an awfully broad spectrum in many ways. It’s just another attempt to categorize the uncategorizable. (That’s a word… :))

  9. kyliesachs permalink
    April 24, 2009 11:14 am

    This is a great post. I have the same problem with almost all women and mom sites. & don’t even get me STARTED on the disaster that is ivillage.com.

  10. Frank permalink
    April 24, 2009 1:07 pm

    Is this like middle child syndrome?

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