The Late Twenties Crush
There is lots written about the quarter-life crisis, but a bunch of friends and colleagues and I have been talking about what happens when you around this age (27ish). We are comfortable with our jobs, have lived on our own for awhile, making a livable salary, possibly in stable relationships. And then at some point, you look around and go “Oh! Apparently, while life was happening – I am an adult.” As in, I can rent cars, have a file with previous years taxes, compare renter’s insurance policies, plan for retirement and vacations and if I got pregnant or married or something, it wouldn’t be scandalous.
What seemingly happened to me is that I had plans and goals, and along the way – they changed. I went with the flow a bit, and ended up in places that made me really happy. I just assumed that at some point, something would change and I would magically end up at Point B. But here I am, an actual adult and I am at Point C. And the view from here? Pretty awesome. But I can’t help but wonder what would happen if I would have gone a different way. And then you have that quarterlife crisis all over again, but wonder – is it too late? Should I just stick with Point C and enjoy it? Go to grad school for something else, something totally different? Will it open more doors, or just waste time?
I am an adult – shouldn’t I have figured this out yet?!
For me, I decided to stick with Point C, and go to an affordable grad school that works with my Point C lifestyle in case I want to go off in another point when I have my “Early Thirties Crisis.” And, I finally decided to get that dog that I always dreamed of having when I was an adult. Except, that means I have to move – most likely to the suburbs.
But sometimes I can’t help but feel like I have failed, or given up. Sure, I am happy and content. But, what about all those dreams deferred? I read a lot of great business books, magazines and blogs, and follow some wonderful movers and shakers – and sometimes I can’t help but feel jealous or wistful. I always saw myself as an entrepreneur, and would love to open my own business (don’t ask me doing what – the list of things I would love to be involved in and think I can make work is absurdly long.)
If I wanted to change all that, there are plenty of people out there who want to show me how – to take a risk, and do my own thing. I can’t help but feel a lot of pressure to just take the leap. Except, for me – it doesn’t make sense right now and it may not ever. And I don’t think I am alone in feeling pressure at this particular age to do something fabulous and groundbreaking and risky. But that doesn’t make sense for me, at this point in my happy life. And yet, I feel that by delaying it or leaving it as a dream, and making a decision that fits my own life, I am failing the younger, idealistic me. Even if that version of me also thought that Doc Martens and long skirts were the height of fashion.