I don’t think there’s a soul who knows me who wouldn’t describe me as nerdy. Not only is my face usually in a book (for pete’s sake – I blogged every book I read for a year!), I have the kind of weird memory-retention that makes me a solid trivia teammateand I love a lot of really geeky things without shame. I even get pretty nerdy about somewhat mundane things (dinosaurs, backstage wrestling gossip, whatever). I’m even an officer in a non-profit community called NerdNYC to help promote nerdiness in … NYC.
So, to most of the world and a good chunk of my friends – I am a Super Nerd. But to me? It always felt a little half-assed. I mean, sure I love Battlestar Galactica – but I can’t tell you the titles of the episodes, and I love Buffy but have no idea who played at the Bronze in Episode 46. I can tell you the plot of the Watchmen, but never really read a comic book. I spent many a Friday or Saturday evenings at midnight showings of Rocky Horror Picture Show, but never officially joined the cast. I can name-drop friends who are indie game designers, when most people don’t know there are even indie games. In fact, I just realized that most of my readers not even know I am talking about role-playing games (yes, like Dungeons and Dragons). I even went to a “don’t call it a LARP” adventure weekend. So, yeah – I am nerdy.
But then there’s this other part of me. I will never profess to be cool, or hip – but my high school years were hardly spent huddling in a corner, going over calculus proofs. In fact, my grades were pretty average. I may have been the nerdy girl, but I was the nerdy one in the popular cliques. I’ll never be a Party Girl™, but I can go out dancing and drinking with the best of them (I just need to go home early and nap). In short – I can pass.
I always seem to have my foot in both worlds, never really embracing either one. To one group of friends, I am the biggest geek they know, and to others? Not even on the radar. Sometimes that makes me a little bummed (harkens to the old refrain of never living up to my “full potential”) and sometimes? I am just grateful that I don’t fit neatly into a category, and I can feel comfortable picking and choosing what really suits me. My musical tastes range from hip-hop to Motown and some Saturday evenings find me hunched over a board game, and others – well, the pictures find their way to Facebook.