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Not Quite a Refugee

July 30, 2009

I’ve gone a little missing. Not because I don’t love my blog, or because I have nothing going on – but because I am temporarily displaced. You see, I’ve written about the bugs in my (soon to be former) apartment. They were gross, they were disgusting, they were embarassing, but really – the worst of it was really a skeevy inconvenience. Until Sunday.

I was feeling pretty good. I haven’t seen a bug (dead or alive) in about 3 weeks and I was feeling pretty confident about it. Spent the morning at the beach and the afternoon thinking up nerdy trivia questions for an upcoming fundraiser for Figment Theatre. Sunday evening was spent writing about what to cook for the week (obviously never happened), scrubbing the bathroom and kitchen. It was going to be a good week. Frank is coming home this Friday, and I was going to relish some alone time, finish up my Netflix (Wonderfalls – really cute little canceled show) and maybe even start packing for the impending move.

At about 11:30 at night, I slip into bed. The A/C is blasting, the house is clean – all is well with the world. As I drift off, I feel something on my leg. Eh, it’s probably just the sheet. I rub one leg against the other, and drift back. Five seconds later, I feel something on my butt/hip. No… It couldn’t be. That’s crazy. But … what if it is? I leapt out of bed, grabbed my glasses and switched on the lights.

Oh. My. God.

A giant (okay, average for my apartment  – which is still TREMENDOUS) roach is crawling around in my sheets/comforter.

I think I must have screamed an obscenity, grabbed a can of roach spray and sprayed the hell out of it until it was dead. Yes, I know – you shouldn’t really spray chemicals in your bed, but I really wasn’t thinking too clearly. And if I had to do it again? I would. I wanted immediate, swift death.

And now, in a controversial move (both Frank and my boss think I am over-reacting here), I called my mom up, hysterically crying. I packed a bag, and since Sunday, I have been staying with my mom or friends.

It’s just … it’s my bed. My inner sanctum. How can I fall asleep again without freaking out over every breeze? Frank will be home tomorrow night, and I am going to feel much braver with him there, but I am still pretty upset. We move in two(ish) weeks, and it really cannot come soon enough.

Do you think I’m nuts for abandoning my home? I omitted pictures (oh my god, yes -I took a picture of the dead creature, in case my landlord wanted proof of how vile this whole situation is) – but if you really want them, I can provide. Also, if you really want them, you are gross!

11 Comments leave one →
  1. July 30, 2009 10:55 am

    NOT overreacting. I would behave the same.

    PS> I want to see these pictures.

  2. July 30, 2009 12:23 pm

    Hell no! I would have fled too! In fact, when I was younger, probably like 12 or so, I SWORE I saw a mouse in our basement, and made my mom call my grandpa to come pick me up. I also shoved scarves under my bedroom door to prevent this mouse from coming in, until my grandpa got me.

  3. July 30, 2009 2:20 pm

    I would have left, too. That’s nothing to mess with–that’s your BED for crying out loud!

  4. July 30, 2009 2:25 pm

    I would have done the same thing. About 5 years ago, I had a swarm of gnats/mosquitos take over my apartment, or at least in the area where the lamp was. I sprayed all over the wall and in the air with AQUA NET (it kills bees, so surely it would kill ALL bugs, right?) and called my mom crying. I was 3 hours away from anyone I knew, so fleeing was not an option for me. Of course, these weren’t roaches either. But still. Bugs. Ew.

  5. July 30, 2009 5:35 pm

    I got cold chills, felt a little sick to my stomach, and could actually feel the tickle of roach legs, just form reading that. I not only would have moved out, I’m not sure I would have ever touched the bed again. You know those things can crawl up your nose, or into your ear!

    I’ve seen a few of those giant roaches on the sidewalk here, and it’s still the middle of winter. That does not bode well for the summer bug situation. I just hope I can keep them all outside.

    • July 31, 2009 1:16 pm

      My nose and ears are not big enough for these beasts. Except it did give me an idea for some sort of goggle/nose/ear contraption.

  6. July 30, 2009 5:46 pm

    No, not at all. Actually a little over a year ago a part of my ceiling caved in and we had an ant investation in our attic. Well, thousands of little disgusting ants fell all over me (and my bed). Going forward a year later, my father still had not yet patched the ceiling, so I had a gapping hole in my ceiling. HUGE BLACK HOLE. WHERE APPARENTLY SHREWS FALL FROM. BIG UGLY SHREWS. LANDING. ON ME. AT NIGHT. A RODANT.

    OH MY GOD. and it escaped our attempts to catch it.

    and a few hours later my mother (who we had not yet informed of the shrew prison break) stepped on it and killed it. and SHE freaked out.

    so yeah. totally understand the freak out.

    • July 31, 2009 7:44 am

      You win.
      Except in some ways, I would almost prefer a mouse or something. At least they know enough to be scared of you!

  7. July 30, 2009 5:48 pm

    A lot of things in my apartment don’t phase me, but roaches are not one of them. The same thing happened to my friend last week, and she’s horribley afraid of them. I think the best thing to do is bomb the hell out of your apartment. Good luck!

    PS- Wonderfalls rules!

  8. July 30, 2009 11:02 pm

    yeah, no definitely not over reacting. good call.
    also good call on wonderfalls. We watched it until it was cancelled on TV and then rented it on netflix too! tell me you have seen Freaks adnd Geeks??

    • July 31, 2009 7:44 am

      I started watching F&G, expecting to love it – but I don’t know. I just couldn’t get into it. It was too cringe-y.

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