Moving with a Neurotic
It’s so frustrating. Frank and I are planning the “Big Move” next-next Thursday, but a mini-move next Saturday – and the packing is crazy. He has been doing the lion’s share, but there’s just so much to do. I’ve never moved before (that wasn’t out of my mom’s house) and it seems like this is much, much harder. Magazine subscriptions to update, banks, credit cards, insurance – the list goes on, and on.
I’m also stressed because we are doing the move on our own (no movers, and just one amazing friend) and I’m freaking about weather, and if we can actually physically do it. And some furniture has to go back to his parent’s house, and some we are moving piece by piece over the course of a week. It’s pretty much a neurotic person’s nightmare. And, it’s really unbalanced to be living in a house that’s almost all packed, but we have nowhere to go. Also, fourteen boxes of books. That’s with donating about 3 boxes to our local library, and a bunch to friends.
I think I will probably post the amazing diagram of the new apartment Frank drew, because the other thing that’s driving me nuts is where everything will go. The square footage of the apartment is about the same, but the layout is so different, and I don’t know where everything is going to go, and how it’s going to fit. And if we need new furniture, and what don’t we need, and are there outlets for this, this or that.
And we can paint! We have some samples picked out, but I am of course crazy second-guessing myself. And decorating? I worry that Frank and I aren’t always on the same page, and I am anxious about potential fights (his version of clutter sometimes conflicts with my version of “design.”) And while I love our Gallery of Awful Art – I’m not sure I want it in the new place. But apparently, some of the stuff I considered kitsch-awful, Frank actually really likes (whoops!), so we may compromise with some sort of giant wall of “stuff” which in my head looks kind of cool – but who knows?
I know none of this stuff is earth-shattering, and it’s all going to work itself out – but it’s just some of the stuff that’s floating around in my head. What if I don’t like the new place, or the commute is crazy-making? Is it really okay for a dog, and what if it’s too small, or we have to move again? What if our friends don’t come visit, or we have bugs here too? I think it’s also just the sheer amount of decisions I have to make. I think I am running into being a little bit of a problem where my exhaustion with making decisions is conflicting with my need to control everything. Something has to give (and I doubt it’s me trying to control everything!)