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Mom and the Modern Unlocked Diary

February 16, 2010

I write knowing anyone could be reading. My boss, potential future bosses, my friends, total internet strangers – whoever. I have chosen not to be an anonymous blogger, because if it’s on the internet, chances are – you won’t be anonymous for long, and I didn’t want to write with that kind of false security.

I thought the blog would mainly be about my family and friends. I thought that stories about Grandma could keep me in business for years. So, I told Mom about it and wrote knowing that my mom could read my blog, even if she never really mentioned it. I then somehow got off topic, and wrote more about other parts of my life and … you know, I still don’t know what this blog is about.  Somewhere along the line, both my mom and aunt and apparently a cousin or two read the blog. And some edits were made. And now, I realized that I knew my audience. Really, really well.

Where am I going with all of this?

Moms read blogs. It’s not just me. Alana’s mom from Indie Not Punk reads hers. And Marie from McKinney-Oates Cereal has full on conversations with her mom on her blog.  I am sure lots of other people’s moms read their blogs.  And it feels very, very different when moms read then when bosses read, or friends or boyfriends.

I don’t write posts for my mom or family, but of course there is some self-censoring going on. But not really for mom. Even a silly post about how much I love dinosaurs or what I did over the weekend, I re-read with the idea that my boss is reading it.  Like, is this embarrassing enough to make my weekly check-in’s really awkward?  (I accept a little awkward.) If this post was associated publicly with my company, would people want me fired? If the answer is “no,” then up it goes. I don’t do the same check for “Mom Appropriateness” because if it’s good enough for my boss, it’s good enough for mom. Which I suppose isn’t really flattering, and says nothing about how much I love and respect my mom, but you get the point. Generally. Although there are some stories that I am sure my company wouldn’t care about, but I don’t think my mom needs to know–like what the real story was about the guy from the record store.

Really? Get to the point.

My mom and I have a different relationship now. I suppose any one who reads my blog and knows me in real life does too. But I think that bloggers and moms-in-the-know have a new kind of relationship. She doesn’t have to call me every day to see what I am doing (but she does!) and she now knows my opinion on all sorts of things that probably wouldn’t come up on a drive to Stew Leonard’s. She gets a peek into some of my insecurities and an insight into things that I am really good at. (Ending that previous sentence on a grammatically correct note is not one of them.)

Blogging is kind of like leaving out an unlocked diary on the kitchen table. Without the awful poetry. Moms have insight into all the stuff that we weren’t exactly keeping from them, but probably wouldn’t bring up in the first place. I bet you Mom wishes I had a blog back when I was a goth’ed-out teen and piercing stuff.  But then again, I would probably have kept two sets of books.

I write knowing that any one could be reading.
  1. February 16, 2010 11:30 pm

    i think you are a phenomenal writer Ms. E.
    You flow, you are coherent, and it all just sounds so nice.
    So thanks for writing. For writing so well.
    .-= April´s last blog ..The boy opens up =-.

    • February 17, 2010 9:51 am

      Thanks so much April! I really appreciate it. I have to admit though, that I often have a friend take a quick look at newly-published posts to make sure I make sense outside of my own head. This particular post was edited quite a few times 🙂

  2. February 17, 2010 9:25 am

    I was actually thinking about something similar myself. I know my mom read my own blog because every now and then, she’ll turn to me and say, “oh, I really liked xyz….” and I get a little startled b/c sometimes I forget that actual people read what I’m writing (which is a little dangerous). But it’s interesting since I think we understand each other much more now than we ever did before and part of it is because she gets a glimpse into my life that she didn’t get before.
    .-= Meredith´s last blog ..Love, a la Jane Austen =-.

    • February 17, 2010 9:52 am

      Right? It always kind of startles me – like “How did you know I was sick?” or something equally silly. And then I feel sort of exposed, but also excited someone is reading what I have to say.

  3. February 18, 2010 12:25 pm

    My mom doesn’t read my blog (she’s sort of technically impaired), but The Mister’s family does and many of my close friends do. And you’re right, it’s definitely like leaving your diary open on the kitchen table. What a great metaphor.
    .-= Kim´s last blog ..Words Are But A Drop of Ink =-.


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