Skip to content

The Way the Cookie Crumbles

September 20, 2010

The Case of the Cookie Hog

Dear Erica,

Is it okay to bring cookies for just my department? The rest of my office are mean cookie hogs. How do I keep them away? I have people who just run and eat all the cookies before anyone else gets them AND in the past; we had a guy who was bulimic and would run, eat them before everyone, and then throw them up.

– Can’t Reconcile Unappreciated Mob Binging

Just try to count the bad cookie jokes.


As much as it pains me to say it – you are dunked. (Haha. See, that pained me to say because it was a really bad pun. And not even like, a real phrase. Man, I need a cookie.)

Cookies are one of those sharing foods. You can’t dole out cookies the way you could dole out, let’s say – little ramekins of crème brûlée. And if you tried, you’d just be Lila Fowler, handing out Unicorn invitations to only the cool girls in school. (Yes, I dropped both a bad pun and a Sweet Valley Twins reference into this column.)

Making people feel excluded and not worthy of cookies is not an example of good manners. Yes, they have too many hands in the cookie jar, but two wrongs don’t make a right. Be the better person. And bring milk for dunking.

The best you can do is try to inspire the cookie-grabbers to either bring in their own baked goods, or shame them a bit. Maybe an office-wide email or sign by the cookies saying “I brought in white chocolate macadamia nut cookies for the Art department to celebrate a really great trend board presentation. Feel free to come by, grab a cookie and congratulate the team!”

Then put out the cookies, and maybe set aside some for your slower team members who aren’t as quick on the draw.

And as for your regurgitating former co-worker; as long as he only took his (semi-) fair share – give the poor guy a break. He’s obviously sick, and one enjoys tossing their cookies.

Come on! You didn’t think I could resist that one, did you?

Confidential to my co-workers: I PROMISE that this was an actual question submitted by a reader. Not in our office. But you know, if you smell guilty … I like snickerdooodles.

One Comment
  1. September 21, 2010 10:08 am

    It’s super easy for me to handle this, since my department is in its very own section of the building and almost nobody ventures over there. However, I do have a small suggestion: if you have a few extra minutes, perhaps you could divide the cookies equally into little zip bags and go to each person in your department and present them with the little pre-portioned snack. This would also give you a chance to say hi to everyone and give you a little walk around the office! It would be very easy to be discrete this way, I think.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: