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The Good With The Bad

June 5, 2011

Maybe it’s just because my life has been so dramatic and life-altering lately that I’m more sensitive to it lately, or maybe its just the summer and change of seasons, but it feels like something big is going on with every one  in my close circle.

My friends are facing heartbreak in all sorts of horrific and unexpected forms. And there are some moments where I am just consumed with grief. For myself, for my family, for my sisters. And I’m trying to just pull through and keep going. It’s the “new normal” and I have to live with my loss for the rest of my life. So, I need to learn how to manage it, and I know that it will get better. Eventually. It’s just hard to remember that when I occasionally pull out my phone to call my dad about something, or go to email him an article about something he would find funny or interesting. It hits me more and more how similar my dad and I were, and how there really isn’t anyone else I would share some of these things with. It was just ours, and it kills me. But … it is what it is,  I guess.

As I think I’ve mentioned before, for the most part – people have been incredible. There’s a few exceptions, but only a handful that stung. But one of my friends in particular, probably my oldest friend (since 1st grade) has been just … phenomenal.  She checks in with me almost daily, and just knowing that she’s there is probably doing more than she will ever know.

Anyway, I was talking to her about some mutual friend’s life-changing situation and we we’re talking about some of the crap that seems to be in the air lately and she reminded me of something. There’s also a lot to be happy about that we shouldn’t let overshadow all the shit. Last week we danced at a friend’s wedding, and in a few months we’ll be welcome a “niece” into our circle of friends. Who will live in the new apartment her parents just bought. Another friend’s heartbreak will eventually heal and she can be proud of making the hardest decision she’s ever made. I have other friends who have “fast forwarded” through their own dark days and are happier than I’ve ever seen.

Grief, as all encompassing as it sometimes feels, eventually fades. Sure, it may linger, and sometimes it’s healthy to have a good cry and wallow a bit (although eating a tube of cookie dough rarely falls into the healthy category), it’s important to remember that for the most part, this too shall pass. And when your world comes crashing down, there’s usually a new one just starting to spring up.  Or at the very least, a friend will let you stop by hers for a bit and pick up some seeds.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. June 5, 2011 1:03 pm

    I’m so sorry you’re going through some rough times, but it seems like you’ve got some good perspective and good friends to help you through. Don’t worry about how unhealthy eating a tube of cookie dough is; occasionally it’s okay to wallow and indulge! I hope things get better for you.

  2. Jen M. permalink
    June 5, 2011 4:06 pm

    Peace to you and everyone in your circle who is going through hard times right now.

    It will, indeed, pass, and it will be Spring again before you know it.

    Jen M.

  3. June 6, 2011 2:03 pm

    Grief can be all-consuming. But it also comes and goes. And when it goes, we have to make room for the happy stuff. Even when it hurts.

    I’m glad you were able to do this for a moment.

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