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I promise you, I’m really shy

April 16, 2012

And if you’ve met me at a party, or maybe even if you read this blog, you’ll think I’m a liar. Most people would describe me as friendly, or maybe even outgoing.

And while it’s true my life is an open book, and I can generally find something to chat about, no matter where I am – the truth is? Having to meet new people, make a cold call, or heaven forbid — attend a networking event? Fills me with dread.  Deep, anxiety-ridden angst. (Oddly, exceptions apply for interviews, or when I’m speaking about a topic I actually feel confident about – like social media, or Buffy trivia.) But, sometimes you just have to put on your big girl pants, and get the job done. So, I do. And to compensate, I put on my friendliest face, and smile big and try to remember names.  I try not to appear too nervous (but you can tell I am by my self-conscious giggle or self-deprecating remark), but hopefully I come across as genuine, fun and interested.

Because I am! Really!

Once I am in the swing of things, I can generally relax and enjoy myself.  I can gain my footing and be present in the conversation. But the thought of having to do it again? Right back to the awful pit in my stomach.

I’m so much happier on my couch with a book or close friends than I am at a party. I’d rather cuddle my dog (or yours!) then speak to the owner. And yet, I make my career in marketing and communications , although it should be no shock that I specialize in online and digital media.

I’m so friendly and bubbly because I am trying to avoid dying of my shyness.

Do you find that the way you describe yourself is totally different than the way others would describe you?


7 Comments leave one →
  1. April 16, 2012 4:08 pm

    I could have written this! Minus the marketing part.

    I have been known to put off phone calls to people I don’t know or don’t know well for days because of the dread.

    • April 16, 2012 4:13 pm

      It’s why you and I will never meet. Unless it’s accidentally, or happens in one of our living rooms.

  2. April 16, 2012 6:45 pm

    I too feel like I could have written this post. My family thinks it’s hysterical, because I’m loud and outgoing with them, but put me in a strange situation and I curl up within myself. (And, oh self-deprecation! My constant companion.)

    I do like to think of it as playing to my strengths, though. I’m a much, much better written communicator than a verbal one. Words on a page or screen come so easily to me, while words aloud make me feel like an idiot sometimes. So I try to write more than speaking because I know I express myself better that way.

  3. JessB permalink
    April 19, 2012 6:43 am

    Yeah, some of my friends think of me as different than what I am. I’ve been single for a while (okay, a looong while) and I’m a Catholic, and those two things mean a few of my friends think I need to take relationship-y things slow, and not rush. But that would be working to their timetable, instead of mine. I am loving having the confidence in myself to live how I think I should, not how other people think I should.

  4. May 1, 2012 1:10 pm

    This TOTALLY resonates with me. I feel so shy in so many situations, but then people tell me that I can be intimidating and that I have a big personality. It’s probably true, but I feel so small and meek in so many situations that it’s weird to hear that.

  5. May 4, 2012 7:01 am

    Yes! I am super-shy in person because I’m sure that everything I bring up to other people will be construed as weird. But among the people that know me closely, I am loud and laugh a lot.

  6. May permalink
    May 23, 2012 8:47 pm

    Nahhh, people describe me like I describe myself so I guess I’m not being pretentious when I’m around a lot of new people. 😛

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